She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
