tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
