i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
