Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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