Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I think people are normalizing furries
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
