hell yes lets make some ravioli
Welp...herpes.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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