The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
