i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
