porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
