LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
