smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
