they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
