My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
