She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Randomize
