so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
