if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
