Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
