No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
True college students do jello shots in the library
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
