I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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