What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
