I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
