I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
