fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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