I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
