dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Someone came in the potted fern
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
