I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
