so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
