god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
