I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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