Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
