I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
