that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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