At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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