It's Friday. Sex?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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