Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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