'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
