Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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