stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
