What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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