brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
