Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
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