did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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