Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
