I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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