What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
