i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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