If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
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