Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
