so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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