I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
