i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
