dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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