I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
